I’m going to be honest with you guys. I have not been feeling well lately. And this isn’t because I’m sick.
I’ve been stressed. So incredibly stressed. It’s not because of finals. Or writing. Music. Any of my hobbies.
I’m stressed because of this website.
I’ve been thinking about writing this post for a long time. You see, for months I’ve been slightly inactive on Teen Authors Journal. I stopped posting every Tuesday like I used to. I made the occasional post only because I’ve felt obligated to. Not because I felt the inspiration to share my thoughts.
Teen Authors Journal has changed me in so many ways. This website has shaped a pathway for my career. It taught me what I love. Showed me what dedication is. Gave me a gratitude for supportive friendships. But it’s also what caused me to get only four hours of sleep for my entire eighth grade year of school. It’s what led me to feeling like I was obligated to be productive all the time. It led me to constantly being busy. Constantly thinking there’s always something I need to be working on.
Teen Authors Journal is a great resource for other writers.
Teen Authors Journal is my passion.
Teen Authors Journal will look great on my college application.
These thoughts always run through my mind, and it brings me so much stress. This website has become a job to me. It’s not a playful hobby anymore. I’ve come onto this website, forcing myself to interact with others only because I’m the founder of this place and I feel the obligation to be active on it. I’ve had to force myself to update and recode parts of the site, trying to make it better with each passing day. I’m not going to lie to you guys. Running this site drains me. It’s gotten to the point where I’m constantly thinking about TAJ, and it makes me feel like I have a giant weight on my shoulders.
I love writing. It’s my passion. And I wanted to share it with others, to connect with kids my age who feel the same way, and to hone my own skills. I’ve done that, but for some reason, I don’t feel satisfied.
So that’s enough blabbering. Let me get to the large point:
I don’t know the future of Teen Authors Journal.
There. I said it. The sentence I’ve been dreading to tell you all for months. This announcement has been shoved to the back of my mind for such a long time, and it wasn’t until tonight when I felt the urge to finally spread it.
Here’s the thing. Three years from now, I’ll be eighteen and ready to move onto college. It’s only a matter of time before I start really considering what to do with this website, and I think this conversation was bound to come up eventually.
The amount of money spent on this website and the amount of hours poured into it will definitely not be wasted. This website changed my life. It taught me so many values and skills, and I’ve made amazing friends along the way. But nothing lasts forever. I don’t want to lie to all of you, so let me tell you the blunt truth. There are four different paths Teen Authors Journal can take from now:
- I decide to keep it until I graduate high school, at which point I later decide what to do with it.
- I sell it to someone else, who will have full rights of the website and the choice for its future.
- I pass it onto another teen writer who will be able to continue from where I leave off.
- I shut the website down completely.
At the moment, I don’t know which one of these paths I may take. If the stress settles back, I may be perfectly fine keeping it for a few more years. However, at the current level of stress it is bringing me, I’m not sure I can handle it much longer.
So before I ask you guys the big question, let me ask you this: If I were to disappear from Teen Authors Journal, would you still use this site? Would you come here to interact with others, write posts, etc.? Or would the website simply sit here, rot, and die off?
I’m asking this because I constantly feel the obligation to come here and keep the fire going. This brings me a lot of stress, and I feel like if the website will still be used, I’d be able to sit back for the next few years and keep running it. I may come on once in a while, but not as often as now. And I want to know how you all feel about this in order to help aid this decision.
Now, for the big question:
What do you think about this?
I want to know how each of you feels about this site. After all, this website isn’t just about me. I’m running this, but many of you have posts on this site. To me, that makes your decision just as important as mine. So I want to know your honest opinions about this news. How does this make you feel?
Please let me know if you would be interested in inheriting Teen Authors Journal, or knows someone who would. At the moment I am open to any opportunities and suggestions.
In the meantime, do not worry! I will not shut down Teen Authors Journal randomly without notice. You don’t need to go around backing up all of your blog posts. I will let all of you know the final decision when the time comes. For now, just live on this site like usual.
Also, I would like to personally thank @irma, who gave me some advice and helped me understand what it is I need. I would also like to thank all of you for making Teen Authors Journal such a special place for me. You helped me keep going. So thank you. I love you guys.
Excited to hear your thoughts,