January 3, 2018 at 3:39 pm #7266
Birdie, may I weave through the torrential rainstorms pouring within the dark depths encased in your mind?
Like an orchestra, I can faintly register the jagged edges of symphonies whispering ever so lightly in unfurled spirals.
Your heart heaves to the melodies of the cackling earthquakes cradled within the dimly lit quarters of your soul.
Birdie, the desolate silence now echoes and rings loudly in the pale walls of your broken spirit. Your mind’s sheathed in locks of glistening chains, that trails you.
Birdie, are you alright?
>Would it be necessary to continue this, or should I just leave it? I’m awful at describing what my work means or what its supposed to be about. It would be great if anyone could just say what emotion(s) they felt while reading? Thank you!
January 3, 2018 at 5:11 pm #7271
It sounds great! I think you can leave it where you ended it. If you’re wondering what this poems looks like and feels like from an outsider’s opinion, I’m happy to share! You created a vivid picture in my mind. Right away, I began to think in a dark, almost gothic sense. It definitely made me feel an empathetic loneliness, depressing in a beautiful and melancholic way. I think this is a beautiful poem and I love how vague you are.
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.