Ah, childhood. The wonderful, peaceful, completely unstressful ?part of everyone?s life, right? Because, can you remember even one time in your early childhood that you ever were upset? No!

I have never seen a child even cry. True story.

 

 

*prolonged silence*


life has always been stressful. In fact, unstressful is apparently not even a word.

At only 13, I am just getting out of true childhood myself, and remember what it felt like quite vividly.

Unfortunately, not all authors are so lucky. Many books are published each year with painfully insulting and/or inaccurate views on childhood life.

SO, to cure this fact, I shall post my deepest secret of writing child leads.

Well, actually it?s not my deepest secret. In fact, if you were my friend and asked me about writing children I would tell you this. Heck, if you were a total stranger that did that whole awkward what-way-are-you-going-boi?-choose-cause-I?m-going-left and mentioned writing children I would tell you this:

Read old journals.

Bless authorlings for enjoying writing every little detail and thought down into one big (or many, many, many, many) messy book(s) that just sits in the back of your closet. Poor little thing (or thing ?s??you know what? I?m going to stop)

The beauty of a journal/diary? It was and is meant to track your deepest, craziest, most personal, precise thoughts about yourself and life. It?s the most accurate 1st person story you will ever find about a person.

How does this tie in with my ?stress? intro? Well, the fact is, when you look into your old journals (and I pray you still?or ever?had them) you will see that the way you thought your life was?isn?t as perfect as others thought. What other people see in children a lot is that their problems are so small, the child must be happy-go-lucky. Not really! I?m sure at least once this has happened to you:

OTHERS: ?What?s wrong??

YOU: ?Oh, *loud sniff* my goldfish died?

OTHERS: ?They?re what, two bucks? You can afford another one. Hey, I?m sorry, but at the same time, don?t worry about it! Goldfish don?t really even have brains anyway! Just flush the fish and buy a new one! You won?t tell the difference, promise *flashy ?apparently comforting? smile*?

You see this? Do you see it? What would you answer this? If it were me, probably something like:

?Hm. You don?t really have brains anyway! I?ll just flush you and find a new friend! I won?t even tell the difference, I?m sure *flashy smile that is so sarcastic you can feel the glare just burning into you*?

Yeah! I would tell them?.(at least internally? dontjudgeimnotverybravegoawayandleavemewithmywickedheadsarcasmandgetmeamictodropsilently.)

 

This is exactly what every kid feels like! Imagine that goldfish is their doll that has been ripped apart or their spot on the couch during movie time. And not only that, they have long term stresses just like you! Think of grade school/high school. What does almost every adult say? Probably something along the lines of ?bills? and ?you have no idea??

A little kid stresses about not getting that thing that they asked for so they can start their hobby and not have to wait years and never get that business that they?ve always wanted wouldn?t an only-chocolate ice-cream shoppe run by the youngest ever shop owner (Guinness book world records proven) be nice? (like my purposeful run-on? I actually struggled with it and am still not sure it?s classified as a proper run-on?)

My point is, I?ve learned a lot from my young self. Even some of my old fiction writing from when I was 6-7 has taught me a lot about writing now. So please, take out the keepsake box, fish through the old photos and stuffed animals (maybe even grab some of those for inspiration) and find the journals. Deciphering the weird handwriting can be super fun, as I learned from my writer’s group when I tried to decipher a few of my old poems with them.

Speaking of my old poems, I thought?maybe if some of you don?t have any old journals/diaries/other writing from when you were young, I would share my poems, original writing + translation.

Prepare for literary genius. These were written when I was about 5-6 years old. They fully embody my sass, swagger, and mild (perhaps even major) first world problems.

First one up is the terrible backwards ?b? poem. Prepare for horrific grammar and maddening fantasy?

BRAGONS ?(untranslated)

bragons bragons all alrrowd

All arownd town

If thay hit you boom your out brooln on the floor

Then your out the boor

bragons bragons I bon?t lick actshly with that spick

spicking into my nean

and thows clus out cluing on my foot

well hes on my fooooooot

I BETER GET PAID FOR this

 

Dragons (translated)

Dragons, dragons, all around,

All around town.

If they hit you, boom, you?re out, drool?n on the floor.

Then you?re out the door.

Dragons, dragons, I don?t like actually with that spike,

Spiking into my rear.

And those claws out clawing on my foot.

Well, he?s on my foot!

I BETTER GET PAID FOR THIS!

?-

Soon after, I discovered the episode of Word World where they explain that the word ?bed? looks like a bed? this cured by backwards b and d. Who knew?!

Anyway, after writing that masterpiece, this young authoress didn?t stop! Taking up her pen, she wrote this beauty?a work of a true first worlder.

So I Did It

You told me and told and then

And then you scold me

So I did it

I shovld the walkway I cleand uep

The kichen but the you saw my messy room

So I did it

I put away my T-Shirts I thow my socs in the londry

But my Brird was dirty

So I did it

I put sope on his haed scrub till he looked? diad

But then mom saw the playroom

So I did it I put away my megablox I put my barbeis-

Into a box but then mom made diner and I had to lisn to her so I bib it I ate my spinach intill I was fineshed

But then mom said got to bed

So I did it

I tucked my self in and trund

On the lite

YES I DID IT.

 

So I Did It (Translated

You told me and told me,

And then you scold me,

So I did it.

I shoveled the walkway, I cleaned up the kitchen,

But then you way my messy room,

So I did it.

I put away my T-shirts, I threw my socks to the laundry,

But my bird was dirty,

So I did it.

I put soap on his head,

Scrubbed till he looked (could possibly still be ?dead? or could be ?red?. Open for interpretation)

But then Mom saw the play room,

So I did it.

I put away my megablox,

I put my Barbie?s into a box,

But then mom made dinner,

And I had to listen to her,

So I did it. (or I could have been very punny saying ?bib?, but I seriously doubt it)

I ate all my spinach,

Until it was finished,

But then mom said ?go to bed,?

So I did it.

I tucked myself in and turned on the light.

YES I DID IT.

 

Heh, my mom?s awesome if anyone wanted to know, I don?t own a bird if anyone else wanted to know, and yes, I turned ON the light before I went to bed for the rest of you who wanted to know. I also like spinach and help make dinner. Little Stacey, when you throw your socks to the wash, who the heck do you think actually sorts and washes those socks? Lady, you talk about eating being the hard part?and breeze past the ?but then Mom made dinner?. YOU FREAKING MADE UP A CHORE AND KILLED YOUR IMAGINARY BIRD DOING IT! So yeah, you did it.

ANYWAY, the next and last (distant cheering) is also my personal favourite.

Clowds- I don?t now wut to say on saterday (Untranslated)

Clowds Clows go away I want to see the sun today

I don?t know whut to say

I get school off today YAY!

Becas its saterday!

I bont want to sing

Dut if I bo I get a bimenb ring!

So that?s way Im singing

So don?t buy my eldem

Becas I sell dem

You probably all left the consert by now

You prdebly thing I sing lick a cow

So Im going to stoop rriiite nowwww!

Good by!

 

I?m not even going to translate that?it?s just golden. I was so gangster?selling dem elbems.

 

So, in closing, look over these poems. I wanted to post the original spelling and grammar with the edited so you could get a taste of how a kid actually writes as well as what they write. Also, if you really want to make a realistic character, don?t just look at your own journals. Ask your friends to find the kid journal they?re least embarrassed to show (and I mean their own, not their sibling?s, parent?s, or some random other kid?s) and go through it. Even better, go through it with them. Ah, good times?

The next step would be: hang out with some kids. They?re cool, and plus, who do you think is the most open age group? Them, and bored-in-this-bingo-jailhouse elderly. But the thing is, if you sit down and actually listen, you?ll find you will actually enjoy all age groups of stories.

Stories are what all writers do, when it comes down to it. Whether they are writing the story of history, the story of science, or the story of their own mind, it?s a story all the same, and if you don?t want to appreciate someone else?s story, you don?t deserve to appreciate your own.

So in the end, listen to kids a bit more?they?re more awesome than you think. And, you may just find yourself walking away from a conversation with a plot or two! They?re bursting with untapped creativity?just need a few edits.

May you always have ideas and the plots never be holey (That sounds wrong…)

Julie (the wannabe kid at heart 🙂 )

 

 

 

 

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juliemozart

juliemozart

I’m horrible at writing short, so 300 words is murder. Let me put it this way: I’m a cool homeschool kid who loves pasta, alpacas, and books. Mostly books. My dream is to publish my (amazing *cough*) book and have a home library *bows*
The Bible’s a book that’s fandom is way too small -Julie M

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10 comments

  • I’m going to take my little child mastermind/assassin and strut away now.

    I’m joking. But I’m going to strut either way, because I can.

    Cute post, I always forget that children are supposed to be children when writing Puppet and it’s sequel, and sometimes its weird due to the other kids. Luckily, I avoid normal people in Puppet, so I usually don’t have to worry about it.

    • ah, yes. Having the ‘abnormal’ as the normal is always comfortable. Cause who wants to read about average Joe and his machine garage job? Me neither 😀
      Kids are fun to write….especially masterminds. I want to know, is Puppet thriller at all? Sounds like it should be, lol

  • This is awesome, I always get annoyed when authors write books that don’t represent kids well. Something else that help’s is to read books that DO represent kids well. Like the Ramona series. Seriously, when I was Ramona’s age I read these books and couldn’t understand why my parents thought they were so funny. To me they were just true real life facts. I mean, I thought some of the things she did were pretty funny, but all her deep down feelings the the reasons she did them were totally relatable. (And still are somewhat. Don’t tell anyone but I still battle the urge to pull all the tissues out of a tissue box.)
    Have you ever read the Ramona books?

    I totally agree that you should spend time around younger kids. I love too honestly. Basically everything you said in this post was golden, I was saying “YES! EXACTLY!” in my head every few sentences.

    Also… My novel which is getting published in four days is from the POV of a seven year old… *wink wink*

    Oh, and I love your poems. They’re amazing 😉

    • Ah, yes. I was a true poet. Thanks!! I loved writing it…it’s something that has annoyed me about children in stories for a while. Also, I have read a few Ramona books, but would always get bored because after the third time of her squeezing out the toothpaste (I was truly tempted. I got to do it at youth group and was so happy) I would be like ‘girl, creativity please.’
      You should read The Egypt Game. Those kids are SO realistic, and the way the game is played reminds me of my own imaginary games, and how it’s portrayed as being a really important part of their lives is spot on.
      Where is it being published?? Will it be available online, cause I’d really love to buy it!

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